Donut Lagoon
by MahouMaru
Summary: I DO NOT PLAN OF FINISHING THIS. Shounen-Ai. Pre-shippuuden. Shino has unruly nightmares, is anorexic, and is falling in love with his best friend. Kiba, on the other hand, is the king of the bedroom and changes girlfriends frequently. UNFINISHED
1. Nightmares

There was darkness, and screaming, lots of screaming. He was running, but he felt as though he wasn't getting anywhere. He felt those eyes on him, those beady predictor-like eyes, burning into his back. He had to escape.

Shino woke with a start, beads of sweat dripping down his face. He moaned, turning over, he glanced around his sleeping bag.

"Good..." he sighed into the cold air, his teammates where still sleeping soundly. Glancing over at the fire pit, he noticed a few embers still glowing and stared at them for a time.

'That dream again...' he thought, staring blankly at the faintly glowing ashes. He'd been having that same dream for most of his short life. That same nightmare had haunted his sleep almost every night. He couldn't even come to comprehend what scared him so much.

Sitting up, he looked around again. The moon peaked out from the trees above him. It had to be still very early in the morning. Quietly, he stood up, shivering in his thin white t-shirt, and headed to sit on the river bank.

He sat there a long time, pondering the same things he always would when he woke from that dream, his head in his hands, his eyes on the sky.

Suddenly, the sound of a branch snapping behind him pulled him from his thoughts. A horde of insects immediately swarmed toward the sound. A surprised yelp followed this action. Shino froze.

"Kiba?" he voice unsure as he called out.

"Fuckin' shit Shino! Get these offa me!" 'Definitely Kiba' he thought, half annoyed, half amused.

"You surprised me, do you know why? You snuck up on me..." he mumbled, the insects already retreating to their home. "I wish you hadn't..."

Kiba got to his feet, stepped into view and patted the dust from his pant legs.

"Why did you follow me? I thought to were asleep." Shino glared at the other boy though eyes normally covered by the sunglasses he'd left by his sleeping bag.

"I was. But my nose wasn't." He paused to itch the back of his head, then pointed an accusing finger at his friend. "I smelled you leaving, so I followed."

"You didn't need to." Shino mumbled again, "I'd rather you hadn't"

"Well! You are SO welcome! I just wanted to make sure my buddy was safe!" Kiba announced in a mockingly hurt tone, gesturing his hands dramaticly.

Shino remanded silent for some time. Kiba stared questioningly at him.

After a moment, Kiba sighed and walked closer to the other, putting a hand on his shoulder.

"You okay?" he asked, a hint of worry in his voice.

"Fine" he lied. He didn't want Kiba to think less of him. It was stupid anyway.

Kiba stared at his friend's face for a time, then moved his gaze to Shino's arm and suddenly grinned. Shino grabbed it defensively.

"Ya' know, despite us being best friends and all, I've never actually seen your arms or anything..." His gaze swept over Shino's arms and landed on his face. Shino stepped into a shadow, hoping the dark would hide him.

"What do you mean?" Shino cursed his voice for sounding so insecure when Kiba's grinned widened.

"Hell, I think this is the first time I've seen you without a long sleeve shirt or," his eyes glided back to Shino's arms, "a huge ass neck collar," over his neck, "or sunglasses.." and locked onto his eyes again.

Shino felt suddenly more exposed. He recoiled further into the shadows.

"M-my eyes and skin are sensitive to the sun..." he quickly lied, his voice trailing as he noticed Kiba's gaze had strange a hunger in it. The black-haired boy avoided Kiba's canine like eyes.

"Is that so?" Kiba cocked his head to the side without breaking his line of vision. Then Kiba's face light into an evil and scheming grin. Shino retracted slightly in surprise.

In an instant, Kiba lurched forward, pouncing on the other and hold of his face with both of his hands. Barely keeping himself on his feet, Shino struggled to free himself from Kiba's grip. After a while he gave up, still avoiding Kiba's eyes and standing still.

"Hey! Look 'et me!" he demanded. Shino bit his lower lip and shut his eyes tightly in reply.

"Dammmmiittt! Commeee onnnn-" he whined. "I am your BESSTT FRIEENND! At least let me see!"

"Puhh-leaseeeeeeeee!" he begged when there was no response. Shino sighed and opened his eyes, slowly turning his head toward his pleading friend.

For few painful seconds, Kiba was completely silent as he searched the others eyes. Suddenly, a grin split across his face again, this time, ear to ear.

"Goddammit Shino!" he blurted out, rather louded then Shino thought needed. He knew his eyes where gross, Kiba didn't have to rub it in. "Why don't you shows these off? You'd never be without girls if you did! Like me man we could-"

"Excuse me?" Shino interrupted, not entirely sure of what Kiba was going on about.

" You've got unreal beauty, dude!" Kiba exclaimed, raising his arms above his head.

Shino stumbled away from his friend and blinked.

"I have to disagree." he breathed blankly. Personally, he thought his pale ivory skin and silvery eyes looked unnatural and homely.

"I think you do..." Kiba admitted, sounding hurt. The stern tone in his words not matching his normal cheery and careless voice.

"Of course, but you also think that rummaging though garbage is a satiable past-time and that one should also only shower when direly needed." Shino added, "You're thoughts are pretty barbaric compared to a normal human being's." 'Though I'm glad you think so anyways.' he added to himself.

Kiba suddenly stepped forward and roughly grabbed a handful of Shino shirt in his fist. Opening his mouth and raising a finger for emphasis, he sucked in air, then searched Shino's still blank face. Inwardly, Shino braced himself for Kiba's usual range of insults, but they didn't come.

Kiba's expression softened, and he released both his breath and Shino's shirt. Patting the other on the chest, he turned, heading back to the campsite.

"You know what? I'm tired as hell." his retreating form called back, "Let's get some sleep..."

Confused, Shino followed.

-X-X-

A few days later, they arrived back at the village and split ways.

Kiba had promised his to meet his current girlfriend for lunch that day. He groaned. This particular girl was a chatterbox. He wanted to dump her soon. She'd lasted this long so far because she was great in bed, but it was getting a bit much.

Kiba had always been surrounded by girls. Even when he was young, girls always seemed to like him. No matter how many girls he dumped, there would always be one to replace her. A new one to fall into his lap, begging for his attention.

The longest he'd kept a girl was four months, that was the one before this one. He'd actually considered going steady with her, but then she suddenly disappeared without a word. Later he found that she'd died on a mission. He'd been sad for a while, but only a little. Such is life in the ninja world, besides, it wasn't as though he'd been in love with her.

In fact, he doubted he'd ever fall in love. Maybe find a girl and settle down, but fall in love? Never. It seemed to unrealistic.

Kiba was so lost in thoughts that he hardly realized someone calling out to him. A sudden kiss and tight hug brought his mind out of thought. Glancing down, he realized a short blonde girl was snuggling into his arms.

"Hey, Oshakeri," he mumbled, freeing himself from her death grip and wishing he'd taken the long way to get there.

"Hi Kiba!" she blinked her brown eyes at him and smiled flirtatiously. "So glad you're back! Now! Lunch!" she pulled him towards a restaurant near by.

He sighed, dumping her would not be easy.

-X-X-

Shino leaned against his closed bedroom door, looking around his dimly light room and sighing. "Thank god..." he muttered, throwing his bag on his bed and heading towards his bathroom. He needed a nice, hot shower.


	2. Fights

Kiba'd been single for about two minutes before he found a new girlfriend. One of the people sitting nearby when Oshakeri ran off crying immediately demanded Kiba go out with her instead. He was now kissing her under a tree a few blocks away from the restaurant they were just at.

So far, she fit a few of his criteria for a good girlfriend. She was funny, didn't talk that much, and was a good kisser. But he'd have to take her to bed before he decided just how much he liked her.

-X-X-

Shino sighed, rubbing away a bit of steam from the bathroom mirror and stared into his own eyes, more then a little troubled by his encounter with Kiba a few days earlier.

Despite what Kiba had said, Shino couldn't see it. "Beauty? Yeah right," he though tiredly.

It made him sick, his own face, his body. It was disgusting. He had tired to hide it from people, his freakish eyes and deathly pale skin. , but now Kiba had seen it.

He sighed again and dressed quickly, not sparing the rest of his body a second glance, afraid of losing the will he barely had to eat dinner.

-X-X-

After a week, 'Sophie' was the new name he'd learned to moan during sex.

The blue haired foreign girl was by far one of his favorites, to put it simply, the best girl he'd slept with yet.

She wasn't a ninja, because she grew up in a peaceful country, but she sorta understood the idea.

She also wasn't one of the brights girls he'd ever dated either, but that was a good thing, since she didn't notice him sneaking off now and then for a quick hook up with the much prettier Torikae.

-X-X-

"It's getting closer to winter," Shino commented to the inhabitants of his body as he watched the insects around him scurry for cover in the crisp autumn wind.

He'd grown a little to used to chatting with the Kikaichu hive that lived inside his body. He didn't need the company of other humans when he had them.

"The only downside to you guys," he mumbled, "is that I have to eat to keep up my strength for your food source." He didn't like eating so much, so he tried to get the Kikaichu to feed of others whenever they could, but he had to eat at least dinner to keep them happy.

"Besides, I don't enjoy the company of most people." he sighed, more to himself then the beetles. Slumping on the bench, his eye-lids were heavy from his lack of sleep the night before. Slowly, he lapsed into sleep.

-X-X-

The screaming turned into angry roaring as he rushed down stairs, almost falling down the last few. He stumbled around a corner, slipping on the blood soaked floor. Terrified, he looked around himself. A dark heap bleed and moaned in the corner. He struggled to get up as a shadow appeared behind him, but his body wouldn't move. The creature drew closer..

-X-X-

Shino sat up quick, taking in a sharp breath and almost hitting a face in front of him. He blinked. After a moment, the face came into focus.

"Arg, Kiba, go away..." he moaned, pushing Kiba's face away from his own.

"Yikes! You know this guy?" a girls voice sounded from nearby, Shino turned to glare at her, noticing her short-cut, dyed blue hair and slightly pinkish skin. "How creepy..." she muttered, as though she was afraid Shino would attack her, like some kind of animal.

"He's not creepy, he's Shino." Kiba said to the blue haired girl. "Okay, maybe he's a little creepy." Shino switched his glare to Kiba. "No offense or anything!"

"Why were you so close?" he huffed, shrugging off the recent offensive comments.

"You were sleeping, so I tried to wake you up." Kiba said, smiling.

"Was the close proximity really necessary?" Shino huffed again, "It was not."

"Whatever," the girl jumped and clung to Kiba, her many bracelets jingling as she did, "Let's forget about this guy, okay?"

"Forget? Like how?" Kiba snickered, rubbing his nose on the girls neck, Shino forced himself to not retch at this sight.

"Well, I could make you forget everything, right here and now.." she giggled as he stroked her neck with his nose again.

"Oh really?" he replied slyly. Shino, who was beginning to feel sick at his friends lack of modesty as the two started kissing, turned his eyes away and concentrated instead on the swirl of questions that always flooded his head after his dreams.

"Why?" was the main question floating around. The dream itself seemed utterly ridicules after he had time to think about it. What was is about? Him fleeing something, that was for sure. But it didn't seem so awful when he thought about it. Yet it had a lingering feeling of coldness, a chill that seemed to have seeped into his bones, that lingered in his body and mind even after the dream had faded. Its ominous presence seemed to hunt him every time he closed his eyes, every time he drifted from consciousness. Surely it was his own weakness which frightened him so? Surely it wasn't the figure? How could it be?

"What in the hell is going on here?" a shrill voice rang suddenly, piecing though Shino's thoughts, "Kiba! Who is this?"

Shino turned his gaze toward another girl who was strutting toward them, her chest thrown out, giving her a important kind of air. Her skin was a creamy chocolate color and her long wavy brown hair swayed with each step.

"You fucking bitch!" she screamed, pointing an accusing finger at the other girl, "How dare you seduce him, you whore!"

"What the hell are you talking about?" the blue haired girl retorted, "Who the hell are you?"

"That's what I'd like to know! Get your fifthly hands of off of MY boyfriend, you slut!" she shouted in reply, "Or I will tear those fucking fake boobs right of your chest!"

"You didn't-" the first girl sneered, "just insult my perfection."

"Oh I did!" she second girl jabbed a finger at the first girl. The second girl gasped in a way that Shino thought must have been something between hurt and rage, then launched herself at the other girl.

Kiba steeped back in surprise as the girls started shrieking and clawing at each other.

"Co-come on ladies!" he shouted, trying to be heard over the two woman's screaming. Both girls momentarily stopped to stare at him, then started to rip at other again. He flinched and pulled them apart. "Violence is not the answer!"

"No," the first girl breathed, "You're right..." Kiba smiled, apparently proud of himself.

"Yeah," the second girl said, fixing her hair a little, "You decide! Me or her?"

Shino smiled as he watched his friend jump and begin to fidget, obviously lost for words. His mouth moved wordlessly, the occasional "Uh"s and "Uhm"s escaping his lips. Suddenly he turned and threw a pleading look at Shino. He sighed, Kiba was never good at making decisions like this.

"Why don't you both go out with him at the same time?" he suggested, an idea, he thought, was rather stupid, but he said is anyway, "That way you'll all be happy..." his voice trailed.

"Well..." the first girl started, she glanced sideways at the other.

"Okay fine." said the second girl. Kiba let out a breath he'd seemed to have been holding. "Since we'll all be sleeping together, we might as well know each others name's. I'm Torikae." she held out her hand.

The blue haired girl simply stared at the other girl's hand, then after a moment, she shook it.

"Sophie." she supplied. Kiba's face instantly split into a huge grin.

"Great!" he exclaimed, "Well, know that that's settled, let's get to know each other more." his grin turned into a wicked smirk for a moment, Shino could have sworn it.

"Let's all go down to the store and get some, uh, special stuff," he put his arms around each girl, turned them around to face south and gave them a gentle push down the road. "You two go ahead, I need to talk to Mr. Creepy Pants over here."

Both nodded and started off toward the shopping center. As soon as they across the street, Kiba spun around and hugged the other boy so tightly, Shino thought he was going to suffocate.

"Oh my god! Thank you sooooo much!" the shorter boy squealed, "I'm so fuckin' happy I could fuckin' kiss you!"

"You're welcome, now get off." Shino retorted, trying to control a hot blush that threatened to cover his face.

"Why don't you come with us Shino? It was your idea, after all." the other said joyfully as he released his friend. Shino retracted, a shiver had run up his spine, disgust filled his stomach. Others? See his body? Never, that would be humiliating.

"You deserve it," Kiba went on, "I get to have three-sums all the time because of you-"

Suddenly, he stopped mid sentence to gaze at Shino, whose posture was stiff, his expression tinted slightly with distaste. Kiba bite his finger, then stepped forward, Shino raised to stand his full height.

"Would that be weird?" the canine boy breathed, a strange tone in his voice that Shino couldn't decipher.

"A little." he admitted, avoiding Kiba's eyes.

"It's okay, I mean," he started, still biting his finger, "If you don't want to-"

"No thank you." Shino declined as blandly as possible.

For a while, Kiba just stared at him, chewing on his pointer finger's top. Then he said "Okay then, see ya." and turned to walk toward the shop he'd sent the girls to. When he reached the side of the road, he turned and looked at Shino with huge eyes and his finger still between his teeth.

This, Shino thought, looked more like a lost puppy and not at all like the confidant, carefree teenager Shino knew so well.


	3. Unveilings

Author's Notes: Sorry this chapter took so long to get out! I'm really surprised this story got the reviews it did. Thank you all so much! It means a lot to me~ 3

-X-X-

It bothered Kiba that Shino had reacted that way. In fact. it bothered him so much that he didn't really enjoy his three-sum at all. His mood had just been completely ruined by the fact that his best friend didn't seem to like him enough to sleep with him...

"With girls and me." he thought, shaking his head for the hundredth time at himself for forgetting there were girls involved. "Like I'd want to sleep with only him." he muttered under his breath as he walked up the steps of his house the morning afterward. He didn't, right? Of course not. What was he thinking?

Kiba shook his head again as he pushed open the front door and crossed into the hallway.

'You smell like hormones, Kiba.' Akamaru barked from the couch were he was watching TV with Kiba's older sister, Hana.

"Oh shut up." Kiba replied, glaring at both Akamaru and Hana's amused faces. He turned and stated to go upstairs before immersing himself in thought again.

Did Shino really dislike the idea of having sex with him that much? Whatever his feelings were, they were strong enough for him to show them on his face. Which was saying something since normally Shino never showed any emotion at all.

That was one of the few things Kiba actually knew about the Aburame boy. He thought he knew plenty about him. But now he guessed that knowing little things had nothing to do with how well he knew Shino. After all, knowing he only drank tea with two scoops of sugar hadn't helped him any with this mess.

He sighed, then jumped a little in surprise. He hadn't even noticed that Akamaru followed him all the way to his room.

"What do you want now?" he grumbled, sightly irritated. He hated it when Akamaru badgered him while he was thinking.

'You smell like sex. Who was it?' the huge white and brown dog jumped onto Kiba's bed as he talked in a whine.

"Why do you always have to know?" Kiba half growled. "Seriously, fuck off."

'Whatever you say.' Akamaru barked and curled up to take a nap.

"Goddamn dog..." Kiba muttered and tired to return to thinking, but he found his thoughts seemed stuck in his head. He groaned and flopped down on his bed next to his oversized mutt.

"You know I hate you, right?" He snapped at the half sleeping dog.

'You're just saying that.' Akamaru growled sleepily,'You're just mad 'cause I interrupted you.'

"I was thinking! It was important!" Kiba said sternly, "You made me lose my concentration!"

'I'm sure it wasn't important.' Akamaru said in a low growl, 'You only think about food, sleep, and sex.'

"I'm not simple minded like you!" Kiba replied, thought for a moment then added stubbornly, "For you're information, I was thinking about Shino."

'Like I said, food, sleep and sex.' Akamaru barked with a laugh.

"What? Shino's got nothing to do with- oh..wait..." he was thinking about why he wouldn't sleep with him...the girls and him.

He turned to Akamaru with the expression of someone going from fresh air into a sewer.

"I hate you." he said after a while of glaring at the dog, who was laughing in wheezes and settling back down into his nap.

-X-X-

If anyone had walked into Shino's room, they might have thought he was trying to set the ceiling a blaze by glaring at it.

He was trying desperately not to think about anything, but his thoughts kept straying to the events that had happened the day before. He sighed, giving into his urge to think instead of struggling anymore.

His eyes closed, he ran though the entire scene. Kiba waving him over, the conversation. It seemed to mock him as he lay on his back in his room. Rolling over, the thoughts streamed though his mind again like a constant flow of water. Then something clogged the water way. His mind stuck to the memory of Kiba hugging him, thanking him, saying he could kiss him.

He sat bolt upright in bed. He shook head in an attempt to empty it of that thought.

"I've got to stop thinking like that..." he muttered, extremely glad no one was in his room to see him blushing madly. He really did. It was crazy to think about Kiba in a romantic way. He was, after all, his best friend.

'Not like Kiba would actually want that anyway,' he thought miserably. 'Who would?'

All of a sudden, he didn't think he could handle dinner that night.

-X-X-

Kiba awoke the next morning to his sister's loud voice and a enormous racket coming for downstairs. Moaning, he dragged himself from the warm cocoon of blankets on his bed and tugged opened his door.

He attempted to rub the sleep from his eyes and peered around the hall just in time to see a very disheveled looking Shino fling himself around the corner and plow straight into him. Kiba made a noise close to 'ompf' as Shino collided with his chest. His nose wrinkled as the air filled with a strong acidic scent.

"Whaa-? Sh-shino?" the tired canine boy stuttered as he helped the other stand upright. He noticed Shino's face turn had turned a light shade of pink and his normally blank expression now showed a tiny amount of panic and embarrassment. Kiba barley heard his breathy apology as Hana appeared from the top of the stairs and let out a great, 'Ah ha!'

Hana strolled toward them and Shino drew in a heavy breath, holding it. Kiba simply stared at his sister.

"Hinata came 'round a moment ago, Shino in tow, askin' if she could steal ya' to lunch." she explained to her younger brohter, a smile spread across her lips. Hinata came out from behind the same corner Shino had, breathing heavily. "Akamaru got all excited for some reason and pissed all over the poor boy." she added pointing to Shino, who Kiba now realized, had Akamaru's scent all about him.

"I was just trying to pull off his smelly cloths so we could wash 'em for him, by we I mean mom, when he suddenly made a run for it." she stepped closer to them, Shino backed up, "But now I gottcha cornered! No where to run!"

"I'd rather just go home and change." Shino half mumbled, "You really don't have to-"

"Nonsense!" Hana roared, making Hinata jump and lose balance, almost falling down the stairs. "Come 'ere and strip! I'll strip too if it makes ya' feel better!"

"N-no, It's fine." Shino said, glancing around, his gaze stopping on Kiba for a split second before Akamaru came bursting into the hall. He barked an apology and jumped on Shino, knocking him down. His massive pink tongue kissing Shino's whole face. Hana took that moment to pounce and attempt to pull of the jacket and long sleeved shirt that currently clothed Shino. Hinata made a squeak of protest, but remained in the shadows, looking nervous. Kiba, who was much more alert now, jumped to Shino's rescue and tired to pull his insane sister away from the other boy.

Hana managed to get Shino's jacket off his person and gasped the moment she slowed down enough to look at him.

Kiba heard Hinata gasp a little too and he turned his eyes on Shino. He fell back, staring at Shino, completely dumbfounded.

Every single vertebra in his back could be seen, his lose shirt hung from thin shoulders and the ends of his long sleeves barely covered his boney wrists. His breath was heavy, his face even pinker then before. He curled his arms around himself in an effort to hide his body.

"I-I have to go." he breathed.

"Don't." Kiba whispered, reaching out his hand toward the other's face. Shino caught it and forced it away. The taller boy stood and walked downstairs and out of the house was fast as he could.

Kiba felt like hall would never stir again.

-X-X-


	4. Confusions

Author's Notes: Hey guys, sorry for me rarely updating. I can't seem to find enough time to type up my stories anymore with school in full blast. I know this is a short chapter, but I was really anxious to upload it. Anyways, thanks to everyone who is following this story! I've no idea why you bother, but it means so much to me! Also, I'm sorry if there are any mistakes, I don't have a proof reader right now, I've been doing it myself, but I'm lousy at it.

-X-X-

Shino had only made it part of the way to his house when he strayed off course and into the forest.

He was only a few rows of trees in when his legs started to give in. He wobbled over to a nearby tree and collapsed against it. A few tears threatened to to escape his eyes. He hastily fought them back, trying to regain his compositor.

"Shit, shit!" he muttered, furious with himself. He'd let his guard down and he was terrified of what Kiba thought of him now. He knew Kiba had seen him without his coat before, but it was dark then and he was sure Kiba hadn't been able to see him clearly. But now he had. It was all a disaster.

'Kiba saw me' he thought, 'He saw me and now he thinks I'm disgusting. Hinata and Hana too. They all think I'm disgusting..' He wondered wildly why his face could stay blank even now when he wanted to do nothing but let it show then pain and fear and anger he felt now. He wanted it to scrunch up and to let tears run down it, but he couldn't. His own blood prevented him from it. His own goddamn Aburame blood. He hated it. He hated himself. Everything about him as wrong and horrible and just disgusting. He looked disgusting, his thoughts of his own goddamn best friend were disgusting. Kiba..wonderful Kiba who would never know Shino focused his love toward him, wonderful Kiba who could never love him. 'End it then..' a voice said inside Shino's mind, 'If you're so miserable, why don't you end it?' It was without second thoughts that he pulled out a small pocket knife. He always kept weapons on him, it was how he had been trained all those years ago. And it was the lighting fast reaction on a whim that he'd also been taught that made him pull the blade across his neck without giving himself a moment to really think it over.

-X-X-

It was 10:30 when Kiba woke from an incredibly disturbingly arousing dream. He'd been looking for Shino all of the day before, but he had no luck finding him. He checked and double checked everywhere he could think of. All the places he knew Shino went to get away, all the placed they would go together, and even the places where Kiba would force him to go. Akumaru eventually managed to talk him into going home very late into the night. He had complained about missing several meals and his usual naps, and that he was to tired to go on. But even as Kiba tired to sleep that night, he couldn't seem to get his eyes to shut. All he could think about was Shino; the way he had looked, how he had sounded, how he fled. So naturally, he sought means of clearing his mind to allow him sleep. And being a teenage boy meant that he would pass the troubling thoughts on by replacing them by mindlessly viewing porn tapes and dirty magazines. This statigy work wonderfully and after a while he managed to lasp into a restless sleep. But both aspects of his day seemed to melt together into one steamy dream focused around his missing friend. So now hey lay in bed, helplessly aroused. He couldn't get the dream out of his head. He didn't stop to think, he just rolled out of bed, started a shower, and allowed himself to be pleasured by his own intimate strokes, picturing his dream all the while. It was only until he was laying, freshly showered and face down, on his bed that he realized what he had done.

-X-X-

It was a different kind of unconsciousness then Shino had expression before. For the first time that he could remember, he didn't dream. He was sure he was asleep, but somehow, he felt as though he was still awake. He could feel something, like a small itch under his head, and a very slow pulsing, though the numbness. What felt like an eternity passed before he realized he was in pain. His eyes flew open and he gasped. More pain shot over him. He gasped again, the same feeling. It was a while before he realized what had happened. His neck had been sliced open, blood on the knife in his hand, he had actually cut open his own thought. He gasps became more labored and he keeled over, ending up laying on the ground. The Kikaichu had saved him, he realized as he dimly felt then scurrying about inside himself. They reacted just in time to save him from cutting open his arteries and breathing passages. Even his vocal cords had been saved. But the gash was deep and he had already bleed to much. He slowly raised off the ground, his head spinning and his stomach churning, to lean on his hands, then back against the tree trunk. He lifted his hands to his neck, it stung. The wound was still open. He needed to get it fixed, and fast. He stood up, wobbling as he did, and walked to the edge of the road. Suddenly, he was glad that he decided to pull off the road close to where the hospital was. He sank back into the tree cover and headed in the direction of the clinic. The hospital was about a mile from where he was and it took him almost and hour to get there with his stumbling and slow pace. But he made it eventually. When he got there, he wondered into the back entrance, not daring use the main doors. The first nurse that saw him, exhausted and blood-soaked, didn't think twice and come to his side to heal him. She raised her hands over the gash and instantly they glowed a faint green color. He sighed painfully with relief as his neck began to cease it's flow of dark red liquid and start to close together. When it was over, he thanked the woman and turned to leave, still dizzy and hurt, but well enough that he felt he didn't need to stay. "Stay, you need to recover!" she called after him. He looked back at her, he didn't want anyone to know about this. He couldn't stay, people would know. "I was never here." he said quietly. The nurse jumped, but nodded and hurried away. He left and walked another hour home. All he wanted to do was lay down for a long nap and forget any of this had happened. When he got home, the door was locked as always and to his dismay, he remembered his keys were in his jacket, so he had to exhort the extra energy to pick his lock. It wasn't hard to do or anything, it was just a pain. He swung open the door and listened for a while, making sure the house was empty before walking inside. The first thing he saw when he looked around was his jacket, thrown across the back of the couch. He let out a small moan of frustration upon seeing it. It meant that Kiba had come looking for him, it meant that his parents had been home and knew about him disappearing. As he walked past it to the stairs, he snatched it up and stuffed it in his face in frustration. He stood for a while like that, taking deep, labored breaths. Then a smell filled his nostrils and for a moment he considered that the jacket my not have been washed since yesterday. But it wasn't a bad smell, it was a calming scent.. It smelled like Kiba, he realized with a jolt. The mixture of canines, organic laundry detergent and Kiba's cheap cologne made him feel even more dizzy then he already had. He exhaled, he was doing it again. Forgetting every other thought to focus on Kiba. It was unhealthy. It was wrong. He dropped his arms to his sides and headed upstairs. Throwing his jacket on his bed, he striped his other cloths and grabbed a shower. The hot water stung his freshly healed wound, but his aching body didn't want to escape it. He returned to his room, free of grim and crusted blood, and flopped down on his bed. The jacket seemed to mock him for a while until he gave in and pulled it up to his chest, snuggling it in his arms. Even now, he didn't allow his expression freedom.

-X-X-

Kiba frowned as he listened to his voice mails later that day. Three from Torikae, one from Sophie, one from his mom, but nothing from either Shino and his parents. Admittedly, he hadn't expected the first to much, but he at least hoped for some news from his parents by now.

"I'm sure he's fine." Hana remarked from her place on the couch, "He's practically an adult, he can take care of himself."

Kiba frowned again, setting the phone down on it's receiver and grabbing his jacket from the hall closet.

"Where ya goin'?" his sister called as he slipped on his shoes.

"To Shino's. I'ma see if he's back yet." he grabbed his keys, "Come one, Akamaru.

'No way, you're crazy.' the large dog snorted, 'I'm not missing any more meals.'

"Fine, I'll go myself." Kiba snapped, walking out the door and heading off.


	5. Arguments

Author's Note: Another short chapter. I know, I'm the worst. As usual, I'm sorry if there are any mistakes. I still don't have anyone to proofread, so please excuse my errors. Also, thanks to everyone of you who follows this story. I really would never have continued it if it wasn't for your support. I'll try to keep getting chapters out sooner, and working to make them longer as well. Please enjoy this chapter!

Edit: I'm so sorry for what happened with the paragraphs in this chapter and all the trouble it must have caused everyone. Hopefully I'll be able to fix things like this sooner in the future. Again, I'm truly sorry!

-x-X-x-

The shadow growled now, it's voice low and threatening like an angry animal. It raised something above itself, something shining, something the glistened in the faint lighting that seemingly came from nowhere. The lump moaned and protested and shrieked. Shino couldn't move, he couldn't stand, couldn't run or shout. 'Where am I?' He was shivering, numb and naked, in the pool of red steaming from the still squealing mass. He needed to move...

-x-X-x- Shino was still laying on his bed when he heard the door bell ring. He grumbled and sat up. By the way his bedroom was lit, he figured it was late in the afternoon, maybe 3 or 4.

The door bell rung loudly though the house again, it was easy for the sound to be heard throughout the entire dark haired boy snatched up his glasses and pulled his jacket on, then headed down stairs to find the source of the ringing.

It shouldn't have surprised him to see Kiba standing on his doorstep, but it did. He had still been half asleep and didn't take the time to cover up much. He had only grabbed a pair of jeans after his shower and he wasn't wearing an undershirt beneath his unzipped jacket. He took a moment to hastily tug the zipper up as he greeted the Inuzuka boy.

"Good afternoon." he managed to keep his voice calm despite his feeling of minor panic.

"Shino! You're home!" Kiba exclaimed, his face lighting up the moment he caught sight of the other, "Where have you been? I was worried sick."

"Does it matter?" Shino answered blandly as he could.

"Um, yeah it does." Kiba replied in offended tones, "I looked everywhere for you! I was afraid you got hurt or- or did something stupid or rash or something!"

"Did you not think I could take care of myself? I can, Kiba. You should know that by now." Shino replied. A bit of shame managed to leak into his voice when he remembered that he hadn't been able to take care of himself last night. He had done the things Kiba had been worrying about. He hoped Kiba didn't notice his voice falter, but then again, part of him did.

"I know! I know!" Kiba practically yelled in frustration, ignoring the change of Shino's tone. He had thrown his hands up and pressed his palms into his eyes. "It's just- I just- aaauuggg never mind!"

They stood like that for a long time, in silence and aggravation. Shino in the doorway, his gaze downcast and Kiba with his hands over his. After a while, Kiba dropped his palms to his sides and stared down and the ground.

"I'm sorry, Shino. About what happened. I shouldn't have let her get that far." he said quietly. Shino looked up at him.

'That was right. They saw me. Kiba saw me.' he thought.

"It's not your fault." Shino replied tartly. That was true, it hadn't bee Kiba's fault, so why should he be so worked up about it? Shino sighed and ran a hand though his hair, looking anywhere other then Kiba. The sky had started to show traces of storm clouds and the wind was picking up too. Shino knew if he didn't send Kiba home soon he'd get caught in the rain. But he also knew it was unlikely for Kiba to want to go home anytime soon. "You'd better come inside, unless you want to get rained on." Kiba sniffed the air and nodded before entering the house, his head still down.

-x-X-x-

Kiba figured Shino to be ignore him by the way he was busing himself making tea for the two of them. They never drank tea together, so something out of the blue like that had to be a way of avoiding someone. It was like he didn't want to talk to Kiba at all. He had no idea why Shino would feel that way. But he felt like he needed to respect the other's silence. So even though his mind was churning with questions to ask, he bit his tongue.

Eventually Shino set a a cup in front of Kiba and placed himself at the other side of the table. His hands were wrapped around his own mug and his face was turned away, his gaze following the clouds outside his window.

"Hey Shino," Kiba started after a while of quiet. Shino ignored his attempt to catch his attention and continued to stare at the sky. The Inuzuka boy clenched his teeth, his fist curling into a ball.

'If this is how you're going to act, screw respect.' he thought angrily. "What happened?" Shino didn't reply. He took a sip of his tea, clicking his tongue distastefully when it apparently burned his mouth, and kept his eyes locked on the window.

"Why did you run?" Kiba asked, "Where did you go? Hey Shino!"

He had to commend the other boy for his ability to keep his mouth shut and his face blank. It was almost scary how mask-like his expression was. Kiba couldn't take it anymore.

"Goddammit will you at least look at me?" Kiba exclaimed, slamming his fists down on the table. Shino closed his eyes. "What do you want me to do for you?" he asked calmly. "I want to to answer my goddamn questions!" Kiba growled.

"So you can what, feel better? I'm afraid that won't work out." Shino replied, his voice even.

"No, so I can know the truth!" Kiba said, raising his voice again.

"That's not what you really want, is it, Kiba?" Shino said.

"What?" Kiba breathed, unable to believe what Shino was saying.

"What you really want is more me to tell you it's not your fault. What you really want is more me to make you feel better, to tell you there's something you can do, to say that it somehow it wasn't my fault. All you want to know is that you can make everything better as though you were god. I know you, Kiba. It's how you always are. But it won't work this time, not with me."

"Are you seriously saying that I would want you to lie to me, for my sake?" Kiba hissed. Shino didn't answer, but his silence was enough for Kiba to understand how he felt. "You're being ridiculous! What the hell is wrong with you?"

Suddenly, Shino's eyes glinted with faint interest.

"It's starting to rain." he commented.

That was the breaking point for Kiba. He jumped up, his chair flying backwards from the force, and went around the table to grab Shino by the collar of his jacket. His mouth opened and he drew in breath, preparing to tell Shino off, to yell at him and correct him, and make him know he only asked because he was worried, but the shouting never came. Instead, his gaze ended up wandering down to the boys neck were he'd seen a pink stripe out of the corner of his eye.

When he looked back into Shino's eyes, he relieved the other had been following his stare. His eyes were filled with something like dread. Something was wrong, and Kiba knew it. He didn't think twice, he just ripped Shino's jacket open, the zipper screeched and broke as he did so. Then he froze.

"What-" he tried to say, but the word came out breathlessly and wouldn't take shape in his mouth. A large pink mark was stretched from one side of Shino's neck to the other. It looked as though not to long ago it had been a gaping cut, one meant to kill. Kiba dropped the raven haired boy and stepped back in shock.

"Kiba-" he started desperately.

"'It somehow it wasn't my fault, huh..?" Kiba said, "And I thought you meant the shit going on with your weight."

"Kiba, please, let me explain-" Shino tried again as he stood up. This time his voice sounded closer to how it had the last time Kiba saw him, terrified, in shock, close to an emotion that a normal human being would feel.

"Shino, you don't have to explain." Kiba cut him off, his tone growing calmer, almost tender. He stepped forward and took the panicking Aburame boy into his arms. "Shut up for a moment, will you? You were so good at that a while ago."

Shino's breath hitched, Kiba felt it on his hair. Shino had always been taller then he was, so the embrace was slightly awkward. Kiba knew hugging was not something friends like them were supposed to do, but Shino didn't seem to mind. And to tell the truth, Kiba was enjoying it.

He knew something had happened, that Shino had thought whatever it was had been bad enough to try and take his own life, but he didn't want to ruin this moment and ask. Suddenly he had faith that Shino would tell him in time, that he didn't need to pester him with questions. At that moment, it didn't seem to matter. All that mattered was that Kiba was holding Shino in his arms, and Shino was letting him, and that it felt so right.

Kiba couldn't even bring himself to care that his phone was buzzing inside his pocket. Whoever it was, it could wait.


End file.
